TACO BELL BREAKFAST REPORT

Hey Mike here to give you the LOW DOWN on the new Taco Bell breakfast.

Here are some things I should preface this with so you know more about me on a personal level.

1. I unironically love Taco Bell but I am still unbiased enough to know a lot of their menu itmes taste like dog food.

2. I am not really a breakfast burrito type of person. Putting 17 eggs worth of egg into a tortilla with a cut up sausage link is not my thing.

3. I try not to eat a lot of pork products because they make me sick but I do anyway because YOLO so any bathroom problems I have for the rest of the day are my own problem and not Taco Bells.

4. THIS TACO BELL DID NOT HAVE FIRE SAUCE WHICH IS AN INTEGRAL PART OF THE TACO BELL EXPERIENCE

OK so me an listener Danial travelled to the magical Bushwick Taco Bell which turns out is like 2 minutes away from our house and we never knew so that is probably going to improve our life so much. I honestly thought the AM Tbell menu was only like 4 items and the cinnabites but it’s SO MUCH MORE, so there might be a part two to this report.

First up I got the AM CRUNCHWRAP with BACON except they forgot to put the BACON inside the CRUNCHWRAP which was maybe a blessing in disguise due to my delicate stomach but even without the BACON, this Crunchwrap was pretty Tooooooiiiight. The crunchy hash brown disk really adds a whole new level to the Taco Bell arsenal. Also the “eggs” they use are a lot more realistic in taste and texture than most other fast food breakfast spots. I could eat a hundred of these things. I ca’t even imagine how OUT OF BOUNDS it will be once I have one with BACON and FIRE SAUCE

Next I had the steak and egg burrito which was one of the menu items I didn’t even know existed. This was ok if youre into burritos with eggs in them. The steak didn’t have the dog food taste that some of the more adventurous meats at taco bell tend to have and there was a good MEAT TO EGG ratio so if you are the breakfast burrito type, you should check it out, THOUGH i do think it may have been the most expensive breakfast item and i wouldn’t go all out for it since the AM Crunchwrap is RIGHT THERE.

Waffle Taco with sausage was next. This is the big gimmick item they’ve been pushing and I wasn’t really expecting much and didn’t get much. It tasted like something your school cafeteria might come up with as a treat. It was pretty bland overall and even wrse without the syrup. They need to up their waffle game ALOT if they even want to be in the same conversation with the mighty Mcgriddle.

Oh there were some cinnabites too and they were fucking disgusting. I think the ones I had were overcooked, but I don’t think anything could be done to make me not think they were gross. I am not into sickly sweet hot gooey cum shots in the middle of fried oversugared dough. blech.

The single best part of Taco Bell breakfast is that ALL BETS ARE OFF and you can order regular menu items along with the breakfast items so If you live near a more accommodating TBell, maybe you can get them to stick some chicken and sour cream in that AM Crunchwrap. 

 

 

 

 

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